Be Careful of "Maybe"...

Another East vs. West Culture Clash

I'm having some trouble finishing another post, so I'll move on to something else for now - something easier.

I was out with my wife last night.  We decided (or I decided and she didn't object) that since we moved to a new and bigger city, we would make the most of this opportunity and explore. For example, trying out a new restaurant every week. Not that my wife isn't an excellent cook, but it's about forcing ourselves to get out of the house and experiencing life. Looking back, I've always regretted not being more adventurous with the many mom-and-pop places in Miyako. Our new hometown has no shortage of places to eat, and new ones seem to be appearing left and right. My wife had often said that this city has nothing but places to eat.

We went to a rather fancy Italian place near the JR station, which I've wanted to try since I found it the night before the interview for my current job. A bit expensive, but it's one in a blue moon, and the food was fantastic. For some reason, we started talking about a possible meetup in Tokyo with the old crew and how likely I'll go. Then, the word maybe came up.

 

Earlier this week, I had mentioned that one of my elementary school teachers in Miyako invited me back for a sports festival (in elementary schools, these festivals are usually fun since they have events for guests to participate and win stuff). It's next weekend, and I said maybe I'll go. Apparently, my wife interpreted the comment as "I'm going back to Miyako next weekend, so I won't be going to Tokyo".

This conversation brought me back to last year, before I had proposed to my then-girlfriend-now-wife. Many of my Japanese friends and teachers wondered if I'd be getting married. Although I was already certain that I would be, my answer was always "maybe" or the Japanese version of it (たぶん). At the time, I didn't have all the pieces to make a final decision, and something could've happened to change my mind the next day. However, my maybe always got people excited.

At first, I didn't think much of the excitement. I mean, hearing someone possibly getting married is exciting, and the folks in Miyako are generally cheerful and expressive. However, as the question kept coming up and people kept getting overly excited, I became suspicious. Finally, I asked one of my Japanese friends what she thought of maybe, in terms of percentage. Her answer surprised me: about 80% likely.

Back to last night's dinner conversation... I asked my wife the same question: what does she think of maybe, in terms of percentage? She gave the same answer as my friend, about 80%.

I explained to my wife, as I had to my friend before, that in my mind, and maybe in other Americans' minds, maybe means around 50%, kind of a cop-out answer when you aren't sure about something. Now, there's a running joke between my wife and me, whenever maybe is used. I know it's only been a day, but I use maybe a lot.

So next time you decide to tell your Japanese friend or partner "maybe", you may want to think twice about what it means to him/her.

To everyone out there: What do you think of maybe?

I found this nice line diagram of maybe and other probability words on the net.
Courtesy of english-hanasitaino.seesaa.net